


Bah Hum Pug

by Eggsyobsessed



Series: Eggsyobsessed's Christmas Giveaway [5]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Crack, Eggsy Unwin is a Little Shit, Holiday photos, Humor, M/M, Merlin Is So Done (Kingsman), Merlin is Sort of A Scrooge, Pajamas & Sleepwear, Pouty Eggsy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:55:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28161297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eggsyobsessed/pseuds/Eggsyobsessed
Summary: This Christmas Eggsy wished to have photos taken, in front of the Christmas tree, with his husband. Merlin begrudgingly agrees, until he sees what Eggsy expects them to WEAR! Not only will they match, to Merlin's horror, but in the corniest pug jimjams Merlin’s ever seen.Eggsy swore no one would see the photo! But of course, Merlin isn't that lucky.
Relationships: Merlin/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin
Series: Eggsyobsessed's Christmas Giveaway [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2053317
Comments: 14
Kudos: 37





	Bah Hum Pug

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Leeef](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leeef/gifts).



> My fifth offering of Christmas raffle fics!
> 
> Leeef asked for Eggsy in pug pajamas...this is what I came up with! 
> 
> Happy Holidays!

Eggsy strolled down the halls of HQ, whistling Jingle Bells on his way to Merlin’s office, with a pep in his step. “Percy.” He nodded at the man who had his nose deep in paperwork.

Percival looked up, a bit annoyed by the nickname, but gave a pleasant, “Afternoon, Galahad,” as they passed one another.

He greeted a few more agents on his way, staff and even Arthur. “Hey, Haz. Gonna be over for Christmas, right?” The holidays always made Eggsy happy, giddy even, which probably had a lot to do with his cheerful mood.

“Of course, Eggsy.” Harry’s response was polite, tight even, with a warm smile. “And do not call me Haz,” he added, danger deep in his remaining brown eye. “I hate it,” he grumbled, sounding like a child.

“Sure, yeah.” Eggsy cupped his shoulder, completely unaffected by the warning. “Black pudding, right? You know how much my man loves it.” Harry rolled an eye. “And be sure Percy comes too, yeah? Rox will be there, ain’t like he’s got more family than that.”

“Yes, of course. Oliver and I already planned to attend together.” The way Harry said his name sent warmth to Eggsy’s heart. It was about time they got together, and quit pining; it was painful to watch. “Will your mother and Miss Daisy be there?”

“Yep!” Eggsy responded brightly. “We got it all sorted, gonna make a proper ham.” They usually ordered from Savoy, had it catered and there was even one, or two, occasion where they ordered Chinese takeout, but this year Eggsy wanted to do it himself. When he wasn’t on missions, or holed away in his office doing paperwork that was long overdue, Eggsy learned how to cook.

There were a few cooking classes in the city, ones for beginners, that Eggsy attended, even buried himself in cook books and shows on the telly. To say Merlin was satisfied with the results, was an understatement. The older man gained a stone since Eggsy’s cooking improved, a fact of which no one knew about but them, thanks to his new, bigger jumpers that Andrew swore to secrecy.

“Wonderful. You enjoy the time off, and Happy Holidays.” Harry wished him, as if they wouldn’t see one another within a week. “And drag your husband out of his office before eight, hm? He has the time off as well and I don’t want to see his username pop up in the system, I’ll make sure he can’t use those fingers if I do.” Harry gave a pointed glare, authority rich in his cool, level voice.

Eggsy nodded cruelty and promised, “I’ll do my level best, Haz.” He winked cheekily and sped off toward Merlin, leaving Harry to bitch about the nickname.

“Hey, babe!” Eggsy poked his head in to see the back of Merlin’s rather bald, and shiny thanks to the scalp wax Eggsy bought, head. He was bent over the keys, hunched in a way Eggsy warned him about, speaking quickly into coms. And in very Eggsy fashion, he let himself in without a knock, and got comfortable in a free chair, playing on his phone until Merlin noticed him.

A completely normal reaction, to be honest, to have Merlin unaware of his presence for a time. Especially when engrossed in an assignment or anything to do with a computer, or so Eggsy noticed. It was fifteen games of Among Us before he heard the swivel of Merlin’s chair and felt the hot, burning hazel eyes on him; Eggsy smiled to himself.

“Yes, Eggsy?” Eggsy peeked over his phone. “I need to debrief with Tristan in twenty.” Merlin frowned at his watch. “It isn’t time to go, is it?”

Eggsy rolled his eyes, pocketed his phone, and stood to give the man a long, hard kiss. “It will be once you finish up.” He smashed his mouth to Merlin’s again, silencing whatever argument from his lips. “Nope. You promised, remember? And Haz gave me specific instructions to get you out of here before eight, otherwise!” He added loudly, interrupting Merlin again before he could even begin to speak. “He threatened to make it hard for you to type.” Eggsy raised a brow, challenging an argument from him.

Merlin sighed. “Fine. But I need to wrap up with Tristan.”

“And that won’t take three hours, so wrap it up! Come home, because we got that thing, remember?”

“Eggsy, no!” Merlin groaned. “Ye cannae be serious, lad!” Eggsy crossed arms over his chest, set his jaw and cocked his chin out in the patent ‘fuck off, bruv’ look Eggsy perfected. Merlin’s head bowed with clear defeat, and moaned, “Fine!”

Eggsy didn’t bounce, nope, that would be unbecoming of an agent and full grown man. “Thanks, babe!”

“Yeah, yeah.” Merlin tipped up as their lips met in a soft smooch. “I’ll bring Chinese.”

“Beef with broccoli for me. Don’t want anything spicy tonight.”

“Heartburn?”

“Yeah. Rox brought spicy Thai curry. I ate too much and paying for it now.” It was like the moment he hit thirty, everything Eggsy loved was shot to hell.

“Take some antacids when ye get home.” Merlin instructed as he turned in his chair, and began to type. “I’ll be there shortly, I love you.”

“Love you, too.” Eggsy pecked the top of his shiny, bald head, and headed off.

The package he’d been waiting for was on their doorstep when he got home. Eggsy brushed the snow off, brought it in, and took JB out to the garden, where the pug managed to circle a tree four times before he decided to piss on it. He managed a shower, the antacids he was told to take, a cuppa and some biscuits by the time Merlin walked in at six thirty seven; Eggsy was impressed.

“Not bad, babe.” Eggsy walked out into the sitting room, where Merlin had their takeout containers set out on the coffee table. “Starving.” He sat himself beside Merlin.

“Ye smell nice.” The smile he offered Eggsy died on his lips when he gave him a once over. “What the hell is that?” Merlin jabbed his finger toward Eggsy’s chest. “That is nae what ye are wearing.”

Eggsy scowled. “It is too!” He grabbed the box beside him, dug in and found what he’d ordered for Merlin as well. “Got one for you, babe!”

“No!” Merlin pushed it away. “I am NOT wearing that!”

“Come on!!” Eggsy whined. “You promised!”

“Aye, I promised to take Christmas photos with ye in front of the tree, but not in that!”

Eggsy slumped with a pout. “Whatever,” he whispered, sounding sadder than a kid who didn’t get anything on Christmas.

“Eggsy!” Merlin moaned, a touch of defeat in his tone. “Lad...that is...it’s a bloody cliche! We are nae one of those American couples! It’s corny!” Eggsy pushed his lower lip out further. “Come on, don’t give me that look!” Merlin took the clothes from Eggsy’s hands. “Look at it! Come now.”

“You always gotta be a scrooge, babe?” Eggsy snatched the jimjams from Merlin’s grasp. “Forget it. We don’t have to do what YOU promised,” he shot, venom and rage in his voice. Perhaps a bit more dramatic than he needed, but he was pissed! “I’m not hungry.” Eggsy stood and headed for the stairs.

“Eggsy!” Merlin followed, hot on his heels, and pushed their bedroom door open as Eggsy went to close it in his face. “We did not agree on this.” He gestured, with a hand, over Eggsy’s outfit. “I promised photos.”

“Yeah. I know. And I saw these on TikTok--”

“Oh, for fucks sake, Eggsy!” Merlin interrupted, exasperated and annoyed.

Eggsy was on a TikTok kick and he recently found one of an American couple in matching jimjams, dancing to Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree. The pajamas were cute, and perfect for their plans in front of the tree. He decided to forgo the idea of dancing, even if Eggsy thought it was the best fucking idea in the world, because there was NO way his husband would go for that.

“They’re cute, Hamish!”

Merlin dragged a hand down his face. “I am a fifty seven year old man...do ye know how ridiculous I’ll look?”

Eggsy rocked back on his heels, a bit satisfied and smug he’d started to wear Merlin down. “No. You’ll look amazing, like you do in everything.” Merlin sighed. “Come on, babe. Just this once, please?” He made sure to break out the puppy eyes, knowing Merlin couldn’t resist them.

“Ye are a rotten shit, ye know that?” Merlin relented. He stood there a moment, hands on hips and pursed lips; Merlin looked as if he had the country's fate on his shoulders. “Fine. Fine! But if anyone sees these…”

Eggsy raised a hand. “I know. No sex for a month.”

Merlin chuckled, yanked him to his chest, and snogged the breath right out of him. “You are lucky I love you, Eggsy Unwin.”

“Mmmm,” Eggsy hummed against his lips. “I know,” he admitted. Eggsy did a little mental victory dance, knew it would be a long shot to get Merlin into them, but he won! And Roxy said it wouldn’t work, ha! He couldn’t wait to prove her wrong and get his fifty quid.

She’d been aware of his purchase, swore down Eggsy wouldn’t succeed, so made a bet and now he couldn’t wait to rub it in her face.

“Now put it on.” He waved the outfit in between their faces.

“Whatever, ye cheeky shit.” Eggsy stole another peck and bounced off to set up the sitting room.

They took several photos, and Eggsy even managed to stick a Santa hat on Merlin’s head for a few of them.

One even made it in a frame, on their mantle, for everyone to see who entered their home. Which, to Merlin’s luck, inevitably meant Harry found himself in front of it, on Christmas day, sipping a martini as he studied the Christmas photo of Eggsy and Merlin in front of their tree. Dressed in identical buffalo plaid bottomed jimjams with long-sleeved tops that had a charming pug in a Santa hat on the front that said: Bah Hum Pug above it.

“If ye say anything, I’ll take the other eye out.” Merlin warned behind him, a feral growl that depicted his displeasure and did little to shake Harry up.

“Don’t be such a scrooge, Hamish,” Harry whispered over his shoulder. “Bah hum pug,” he added with a giggle.

“Fucking wanker.” Merlin seethed and kicked his shin before he wished Daisy a Happy Christmas.


End file.
